I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
