remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
