maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
