I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize