Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
