Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize