i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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