When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
