my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
When are your genitals available?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize