Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
