waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize