Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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