Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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