Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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