The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
