if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
