I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
