In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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