i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
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whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
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I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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