I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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