my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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