i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
