Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
