she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
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