U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
