You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My brain says no but my pants say off.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
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