ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize