I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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