I bet he comes in French.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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