i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
