Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
