everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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