i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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