I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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