maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
