Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
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stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
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The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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