...so i touched it.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
