My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
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All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
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My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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