if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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