New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
