Can Purell be used as lube?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
