your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
