this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
