Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Let's get the cat blown out
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
