Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
