She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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