What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
