Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
