I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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