Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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