We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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