Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
