Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
