Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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