I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize