"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
someone owes me an orgasm
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
