break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
the condom got lost in my hair
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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