Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
