I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I touched a dick in church today
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
