I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Randomize
